The world of has been plunged into chaos, and we’re here to break down the winners, the losers, and the contestants eliminated in not one, but TWO rose ceremonies in this week’s episode. Vietnam may be a great place to fall in love, but for three women, Nha Trang will forever be synonymous with “elimination.”
It’s down to Week 6 in Colton Underwood’s season of ABC’s The Bachelor, and after the last episode ended with Nicole and Onyeka attempting to win his affection by out-arguing one another, that’s right where things pick up. Unsurprisingly, Colton decides to let both of the bickering bachelorettes return to their homes, before whisking the remaining women away to Vietnam.
Colton hoped it would be a week all about “providing clarity,” but after one failed attempt to claim his virginity, The Bachelor now stands on the edge of a total paranoid crisis of faith in the show as a legitimate means of finding a wife. Trust the process, Colton, as we get to our breakdown.
With hometown visits approaching fast, it’s easy to name this week’s winner, as the one contestant Colton has singled out as “reminding him of home” after being awarded the First Impression Rose on premiere night. As winner of this week’s One-on-One Date, Hannah kept the momentum rolling into a day filled with relaxing festivities. Whether they were making out on massage tables, making out wrapped in seaweed, making out in a mud bath, making out in an outdoor shower, making out over dinner, or making out in the presence of a resort band, the sparks between Colton and Hannah G. were crackling to those who know how to spot them.
When the pair did come up for air, they managed to also kiss with their emotional tongues, sharing their experiences as children of divorce (special points awarded to Hannah G. for using her father’s love of lawn care to encapsulate her parents’ separation in surprisingly inspired fashion). Even if she hasn’t yet told Colton that she is falling in love with him, she confirmed as much to America… and so did Colton. A rose well earned.
Many viewers were surprised to see land the second One-on-One Date, after weeks of laying low, mainly standing out thanks to her mysterious chin injury in the previous episode. After seeing the ‘war wound’ banner passed to Cassie and her worryingly noticeable bug bite, Colton intended to speed up his relationship with Kirpa using – what else? – snorkeling. Kirpa may be less eager to please than some of her fellow contestants, but the impression that she now claims the current title of ‘Woman Whom The Bachelor Most Wishes Liked Him More.’ Camera time isn’t everything, it seems.
Additional praise this week must be given to “Hannah Beast” for demonstrating physical dominance over less skilled opponents in a boxing tournament (and showing Aquaman-level form with a bamboo stick). The week’s risk-taker, on the other hand, is without a doubt Tayshia. She claims the title by playing one of the most dangerous cards in this deck: voicing her need for Colton to show more curiosity, interest, and reassurance… and actually getting him to give it. These things can’t be taught.
With credit given where it’s due, and Colton’s highlights in this week of The Bachelor highlighted… it’s time to get to the biggest losers.